Thoughts for Amy's Birthday

I got a special treat in the mail this weekend. A friend sent me a long lost video of my first meeting with Angie at the airport. My friend had recorded it on a now out of date camcorder and we never got the tape for it. So if you are reading this Becky, thank you!

As I watched it, and of course cried over those precious memories of seeing my daughter for the first time, all the girls started asking questions about when I first saw them. They were all babies and it was very precious. Except for Amy. I've been thinking a lot lately of when we first saw Amy. Amy was older. Amy was almost 3 when she became a part of our family. Those of you who have adopted older children, particularly internationally, know what a ride that can be. I have friends in China now adopting a little girl close to Amy's age and it just takes me back.

   As a parent, I already loved Amy before I even met her. I had decided to love her and to adopt her before I knew her. I could not wait to get my arms around her and squeeze her and kiss her. I had been waiting for that day for a year.

Now from Amy's perspective, she didn't know me, she had a routine, she was unaware that life could be different. She was an orphan relying on caretakers to care for her needs, I don't know, but I certainly hope they did. But she had no parents. She didn't know what parents were.

Then the day came when we entered her life. Brent and I were so excited. Amy was not. We met her in our hotel lobby. She eyed us as the translator told her briefly, "Look! your new parents!" It only took her a moment to decide, "no thanks." The guides are very professional and know how to do 'the hand off'. Amy started crying and clinging to the driver of the car that drove her there from the orphanage. I have no idea if she knew him or he was just preferable to us.  Our guide and translator told us to get in the elevator and then she pushed Amy into our arms as the door closed with us inside.

Heartwrenching. We knew she was grieving. We knew we were strangers and couldn't even communicate with her because we didnt' know her language. We could imagine what she was feeling.

We also knew we were the best thing that had happened in her life thus far. We knew we were giving her a name and a family and love. We knew it was worth the grief.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11.

Don't you just love that God is our parent and sees what is best for us as well? He understands our grief and resistance when we don't understand, but he also knows the plans He has for us and it is worth the grief.

Fast forward 3 years. Today is Amy's 6th Birthday! She knows that day was the best day of her life. Well, if you ask her, she thinks every day is the best day of her life. But she laughs when we tell her how scared she was at first. Because now she knows that it was worth it.