My Husband is a children’s pastor. For 9 years we loved and worked with other people’s children with a feeling of emptiness in our own home, we were childless. After 8 years we found out I was carrying identical twins, only to lose them to miscarriage. A year later I gave birth to a baby boy, Jason Benjamin. He was stillborn. I had a special verse that I held onto in my very rough pregnacy with Jason, I Samuel 1:27,28. So many moms use the verse "For this Child I prayed..." and don't use the rest of the verse. I felt like I was just like Hannah, I had prayed so long for a child and God was finally giving me one. The rest of the verse says, "and I will give him back to the Lord all the days of his life." I claimed that part of the verse too. It is the verse we put on his tombstone, for indeed we gave him back to the Lord.
We had looked into adoption a few years before through Child Protective Services and we were told they were not looking for families that wanted a baby. In January 2004, 6 months after we buried Jason, I heard the Steven Curtis Chapman’s family adoption testimony on the radio. It was Sanctity of Life month and adoption was highlighted as well. I was moved but my husband had told me several times over the past 2 years he was not ready to adopt. A few days after I heard the Chapman family’s testimony on the radio I had lunch with a friend who had also had several losses. They had tried to adopt internationally a few months before and it hadn’t worked out. I’ll never forget that lunch. She and her husband had decided they were going to adopt from
It took us a few months to come up with the initial applications costs of $150 for the adoption agency. They accepted us and the next day I found out I was pregnant. Having already lost 3 babies, we were definitely not going to stop the adoption process. The agency was wonderful and waited for us while I was sick with the pregnancy and as we tried to come up with the money to cover the adoption. In November I had my first live birth, Karianne. 3 months later unbeknownst to us, our second daughter Angie was born in
We wanted to adopt again. In 2006 I had a surprise pregnancy. Again we buried a son, Richard Thomas born in heaven January 18th , 2007. In May of that year we saw our third daughter’s face on a special needs list with “multiple diseases” listed as her disability. We prayed for a family for her and spread the word about this sweet little girl that needed a family and didn’t have much time left before she was taken off the lists. We finally heard God telling us that she was our little girl. Again we just obeyed. We didn’t know where the money was coming from, we had come under financial strain because of the housing market as well as the medical expenses associated with my pregnancy and birthing of Richard. It seemed financially irresponsible to embark on an adoption but we have learned that finances should be the last thing considered in adoption. Make your heart willing and open to God and he will provide. Somehow history repeated itself and once again after we had committed to an adoption I found myself pregnant a month later! It was twins again. I lost one after 10 weeks and amazingly gave birth to another sweet little miracle on January 17th, 2008; the day before the anniversary of her brother’s birth. When Lucy was 4 months old, we traveled to
We are now the proud parents of 4 little miracles, never forgetting the 5 awaiting us in heaven.